we're all irish today!!!
except for the zionists
And that’s the last photo you’ll see from this time of my life for the rest of the year. Don’t even think about asking for another one.
These are the three most important days of the year: St. Patrick’s Day (St. Patrick is irrelevant to the day as this day is about us), March 18th — a quick breather, and March 19 — the day I was born. Very, very important three days for us all.
Maybe some of you don’t understand, but my blood literally pulses through my body when these days arrive — when I hear Irish music. You cannot tell me the song Tell Me Ma by Sham Rock doesn’t make you instantly know how to do a jig. It does. And for me? I didn’t Irish dance for 10 years to not be able to break out into a hornpipe reel at any given moment. Irish culture is loud and proud in New York City on St. Patrick’s Day, and it’s probably louder here than it is in Ireland; I’d put gold coins on that bet.
I still don’t think you all understand how important this holiday is to my family. For TEN YEARS, I was taken out of school on St. Patrick’s Day to go dance in Irish pubs in Chicago from 10 am to midnight. From 7 to 17-years-old, this was my St. Patrick’s Day:
The one perk of going to a Catholic grade school in Chicago was that it was very easy to be let out of school to do my real job of entertaining every person in an Irish pub on that day every year. The same year that photo was taken was also the same year that a girl dropped her beer onto my wig (WIG?! THIS HAIR IS REAL) from the balcony. I thought my life was over in that moment. Today, that’s the funniest thing that has ever happened to me.
Every year, we’d meet at the Abbey Pub at 8 or 9 am, eat nine donuts each, put on our wigs and solo dresses, put on our soft shoes and then put on our Crocs (…), and do our first show at 10. After that, the day of the school bus began. We took a school bus all over the city, changed into other dresses or outfits on it over and over and over, and sang a lot of The Cranberries. Most of these St. Patrick’s Days were freezing. We’d be shivering outside in the back of the bar kitchens, waiting to be told our dance was coming up. We’d do a dance in a room with 10 square feet since the rest of the bar was filled with people watching us. And they were watching us. The music was turned off so that ours was turned on, and the crowds went WILD. Watching little kids tap their little hearts out to Jump Around by House of Pain is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for most people — for my mom, no. She has seen that dance so many times that she would know when I messed up, even if I handled it so smoothly1 and also chill also as well. My mom took the day off from work every St. Patrick’s Day and followed the bus to each pub all day. And she’s proud to say that she found free parking in every location. If that isn’t Chicago rizz, I don’t know what is. Michele with one L: our greatest supporter.
Irish dancing was a wild time. I had my first underaged beer on one of those St. Patrick’s Days, definitely at the Abbey Pub. I was in the best shape of my LIFE — I realize this now whenever I have to dance at a family party or literally just for my mom when she asks. Cannot breathe after. I learned about what being a teenager was gonna be like from the older girls in the group. I was taught life lessons and gained new family that will drop anything to be at our weddings, as we were for theirs. I got to experience a part of Chicago that only other young performers will be able to understand. This life was gorgeous, and I’ll always call it one of the greatest memories I’ve ever had.
Being Irish is great. Sure, there are racist Irish people or, ya know, Irish people in charge who are also at fault for a current genocide. But the Irish in general have almost always been on the right side of history. A country that was colonised for centuries, killing over one million, has always been against genocide, and they aren’t afraid to let that be known:
It’s just important to hold everyone in your community accountable, wouldn’t ya say? On a day that we as Irish people celebrate in honor of our ancestors before us who fought to be independent and to be who they are, we also have to let our Irish-American people in power know that there’s blood on their hands. Simply my favorite thing to address today!
So Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all of us, except for Joe Biden … and any other Irish person who isn’t on the right side of history … but especially Joe Biden. Don’t forget to vote uncommitted, my lil leprechauns!!!
Sláinte <3
tv show rec: Derry Girls
book rec: anything Sally Rooney because she is very vocal about her support for Palestine and has called out the Irish political members who are being verbally supportive but are still in bed with the people who aren’t: read about it here
music rec: THE DUBLINERS THE CRANBERRIES THE HIGH KINGS THE POGUES ME SINGING A JOKE
Irish person to wish a happy birthday to on March 19: ME ME ME ME ME
I never handled it smoothly.