Fairytale of New York
or "The Night the City's Ball Dropped"
WELL, WELL, WELL. LOOK WHO DECIDED TO SHOW UP. Little Miss 2025. She just walked right in with no money, no job, and no plans. And now we have to figure that all out for her. It’s like raising a child, I’d assume.
But that’s okay! As we age, we become more responsible for the years we have left. We try to take better care of our bodies, give ourselves resolutions, and hope that we stick with them for the rest of the year — the rest of our lives. For example, a resolution I have is to not doom-scroll as much — it gives me anxiety and makes it harder to sleep, and it’s truly not good for anyone. So that’s an example. So many people make their resolutions to go to the gym more, to go on more dates, to brush our teeth more often (not me I already brush my teeth, like, five times a day), and then others don’t do resolutions because they’re dumb and shouldn’t be putting pressure on our years before they even begin. I think I’m in between on that. I think some people should have resolutions — like Eric Adams. He should have a resolution to not be such a fuckin loser1 and step down from being the mayor of NY of C. That “much indicted Mayor Adams is partying at Times Square,” as Andy Cohen so poetically worded it. So people like him should have resolutions. Others include Lori Lightfoot, Richard M. Daley, Richard J. Daley, Rahm Emanuel — really just any former mayor of Chicago. Plus Eric Adams.
And not just the mayors! You, too, can have New Year’s resolutions. But do you know what’s even better than a resolution? A list of the new year’s INS AND OUTS. Let’s begin:
INS
working out and telling no one
playing basketball at the gym and telling everyone
finding new hobbies that aren’t just splitting the G
becoming the heir to a large fortune
owning a town
owning socks with no holes in them
TSA Precheck
running up that hill
updating your voicemail
Facebook Marketplace/Ebay
somersaults — I googled the word and yes that is how you spell it even if it looks wrong
another insurrection but from the other side
learning new tricks
Lorde
OUTS
oat milk — I’ve tried so hard with it, but it just does not taste good in a cappuccino
paying rent once a month — unnecessary and wasteful
cartwheels — dangerous to oneself and others in the vicinity
stilts — don’t like em don’t trust em
Emerald City — very exclusive
idk
the Lord
More ins than outs because that’s just how optimistic I am about 2025. I imagine you all agree with these, so there’s no need to comment slash critique slash question.
Do you know what song makes me emotional? Auld Lang Syne — Guy Lombardo’s version, which I know is the most famous version. It’s sung by so many people all the time, but it’s that one that makes me happy and sad at the same time. It has a Christmas sound to it, even though that day has come and gone; it lets you enjoy it a little while longer.
There’s something about that song that makes me think of New York, too. Hearing it here feels like it’s the only place in the world that made it to the new year before everyone else, just for a moment. I don’t know if it’s because I grew up in a city that’s an hour behind New York, but there’s also something about the moment after everyone shouts HAPPY NEW YEAR. The streets of New York are suddenly quiet, and nothing is going on. It only lasts a minute or so. It feels like when you’re 12-years-old and it’s raining outside and you’re staring out the car window pretending you’re in a music video. It’s that exact feeling.
I wanted to treat New York properly this Christmas season. I wanted to walk down Madison and Park in the snow, go see the tree, walk through Central Park, maybe give my time to a soup kitchen, make it impossible for two goofy criminals to chase me through a brownstone under renovation, etc. I used to come to New York every Christmas. It’s the last memory I have of my grandma Mary — Mary, the inspo behind the character Joan Didion. Oh, Joan Didion’s real? Well, I never saw them in the same room …
My last memory of Mary was in the women’s bathroom of the New York Botanical Garden in 2012. We would go each year — at least each time I visited for the holidays. I helped her wash her hands and brought her over to the hand dryer when she fell into my arms and looked up into my eyes as if she was the granddaughter and I was the grandmother. I think of that moment whenever my cousin Sima’s daughter looks up at me to pick her up or when my mom pinches my elbow because Mary used to do that to her or when I get yet another papercut reading Slouching Towards Bethlehem. I think about Mary every Christmas, every time I hear Auld Lang Syne, every time I hear New York, New York.
New York is expensive. New York has rats and roaches and trash everywhere. New York is a mall. But New York is full of LIFE (as in life and also LIFE Magazine’s offices). New York is built on people and culture. It’s got music and art, and every single person in the world wants to be there, even for five minutes. New York is everywhere! Any time I’m in a smaller city and I wear all black, someone comments “Okay, very New York!” Mary used to wear all black, and she was as New York as it got. New York is a dream, and it’s a fairytale, and I’ll keep living here until I can’t anymore.
I hope everyone’s start to the year is full of grapes and movies — nothing better than either of those things.
Thanks for sticking with Circle Back all the way to TWENTY TWENTY-FIVE it means so much to me.
See you next this year!
movie rec: Forrest Gump (1994) — don’t act like it’s not good
book rec: Heart of a Dog — Mikhail Bulgakov
music rec: a recording of yourself singing Auld Lang Syne
movie for your first cry of 2025: Stepmom (1998) — there was no such thing as cinema before this
Split that G, dear readers. Split. That. G.
unbelievably aggressive comment on the first day of 2025
Haha “from the other side” 🥹 what y said about Zuzu/mary