can a mother be Mother at the same time?
did that question just give you a headache?
I think this is really all I have to say about the Met Gala, so we can move on immediately. My heart is with Palestinian mothers today and every day.
IT’S BEEN TWO WEEKS WHO LET THAT HAPPEN (not me) WHERE HAS EVERYONE BEEN
I truly am so sorry for the two-week delay, you guys. It’s unkind, as well as inconsiderate, of your train schedules when you suddenly have four minutes and need to be looking at something on your phone. I always imagine that when I look around my train car and see everybody looking down at their phones, they’re reading the latest edish of Circle Back. Even if I’m hearing one of the phones blasting a TikTok video about 9/11 or how the glove actually did fit OJ Simpson’s hand, they are also reading my award-winning newsletter, Circle Back.
Having a single day for moms is so funny. One day for moms, one day for dads, one day for ice cream, and one full week for sharks. Nothing is real. Here’s a pic of my mom:
I am also in the pic.
She’s a nice lady. I hope to meet her one day.
As a 27-year-old living in a state my mother does not live in, Mother’s Day feels like Christmas or Thanksgiving or Easter or some other holiday we got the day off from school for — all days that I spend on my own or with friends instead of family. Being away from home on a day like today feels like a type of FOMO that isn’t really there — I can FaceTime my mom (and I will stop yelling at me) and also Venmo her to buy some ice cream for National Ice Cream Day. And also reach out to her during Shark Week. I can do all of those things! But I won’t be home for Mother’s Day, and that has to be okay sometimes. We can’t hit every single holiday like we could when we were 11 and couldn’t drive and couldn’t go places by ourselves and our parents still made our schedules. Now, I’m catsitting for my friend and running errands before work starts up again tomorrow. I’m BIZZY, mom! And this is your fault! You raised me to be a responsible adult, and look what happened; I’m keeping a cat alive and buying groceries for my apartment that I rent with the money I make at my full-time job. YOU DID THIS TO ME. Your fault, not mine. So mom of you to make that mistake. And by mistake, I mean the mistake of making me into an independent and smart and responsible and gorgeous young woman. It’s just too large of a mistake, and that’s why I can’t in good conscience be home for Mother’s Day. I just can’t.
The term “mother” has changed in recent years. According to urbandictionary.com, “mother” means:
So hopefully that’s a good enough definition for you all because it’s good enough for me. Think about that definition and please comment a person that you feel is Mother. I’m serious; I’d love to know your Mother List. Need a few more examples? Happy to help:
Cate Blanchett in Tär
Martha Stewart as Martha Stewart
Amy Adams in The Woman in the Window
Toni Collette in Hereditary when she says, “I AM YOUR MOTHER”
Maya Rudolph during the monologue of last night’s Saturday Night Live
Okay, your turn! You got it, honey, I believe in your understanding of this. Get To Work. Comment Below.
To keep the convo going about mothers and women and … I guess that’s it, the other day, my friend and I were chatting about how often women have to “clock in” in everyday life. When I say clock in, I mean it the way it sounds — feeling like certain social settings are a job that requires more work than necessary. Something to add to the Urban Dictionary website… Here are some examples:
whenever a woman is at the store and a male employee starts hitting on her and she has to act like it doesn’t make her uncomfortable because it’s the best celery juice you’ve ever ordered and you don’t want to lose that
when a woman is on a date and realizes the man sucks but HEY he’s paying for dinner! you deserve the free meal after he told you he’s still a huge fan of current Dave Chappelle five minutes in
when a woman is walking down the street and the catcalling turns into telling you to smile so you smile big so that you don’t get punched in the face — potentially only relatable to New York City residents at this moment in time
you’re only allowed into New York’s hottest club if you look a type of way — Stefan did not tell us this on Weekend Update!
the man you’re with is one of the worst men in United States history, but you need a green card — and then you accidentally become the First Lady
But when does clocking in go too far? Melania clocked in so hard she went all the way to the White House1 and might end up there again! Kamala Harris clocked in so hard as a character from VEEP that now she can only exist in the context of all in which she lives and what came before her — meaning she is only as relevant as her viral quotes. Hillary Clinton clocked in so hard as a war criminal that now everyone knows she’s a war criminal! I don’t know why these examples are just of people who lived in the White House, but they’re good examples nonetheless.
Drew Barrymore clocked in so hard as a relatable talk show host that she now has to sit criss-cross-applesauce on the interviewing sofa Every Single Time. And that was so silly of her because there’s no such thing as a relatable talk show host! None of us will be talk show hosts. Well, not with that attitude!
All women have clocked in at some point, even if we’re not realizing it until right now. Mothers clocked in so hard that they became mothers, and now they can never clock out. And that’s what Mother’s Day is all about: always being on the clock. And that’s also how I figure out how to relate the first topic in this week’s Circle Back to the second topic.
So thank you, mothers. By you clocking in 24/7, I had something to talk about this week. And because I had something to talk about this week, everyone has something to read for four minutes on the train again. Wow. Y’all really do so much for us. Maybe I should’ve flown home to celebrate the day with my mom?
movie rec: Mother! (2017)
music rec: Let It Be by The Beatles
book rec: On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong
something my friend Lama said and she deserves the credit because it made me laugh out loud