why does nobody wanna go to laser tag and then see a movie right after anymore
did somebody decide that Having A Good Time is no longer allowed in Norridge, Illinois? or ... somewhere else?
Important news update from the number one news source in the country:
Second most important news update:
I mean … I dno’t thnik so.
I wasn’t able to read this article because there was an instant paywall after the title, but I have a feeling that it was gonna say that dyslexia is not real and that people just actually do not know how to read. Take it from me — just a small-town girl who has a ghostwriter writing every single Circle Back. She wrote that line, too. And that one. Okay, she can stop now. Hey, you can stop it. Okay, STOP. STO-
Something about me and my life is the family of cats is now hanging out in the front of my apartment, instead of the back. To be more Pacific and not Atlantic, they are hanging out on my stoop.
That’s right, everybody. I’m onto something, and that something is me catching them all like Pokemon and giving them loving homes.
I did try to do this the other day and almost succeeded.
This choice felt incredibly impulsive, so I gave her back to her family. I am learning every day. This little cutie is named Joan. LOOK AT HER. I love her.
Luckily, it’s not freezing in New York right now, but I am thinking about these babies every single day and trying to figure out how to quickly build trust. We’re getting so close. There’s also now this random black cat that I think is a stray, but he is trying to eat all the food I’ve been giving the kiddos, and I’ve had to have words with him about learning to share (definitely an only child cat), and he really is, like, not listening to me at all. He’s not being cool whatsoever. I apologized to him later that night because I felt like I was being a little too demanding of him. He’s obviously hungry, and I obviously can solve that. He’s a good guy, and I’ve always said that about him.
More updates on the kiddos to come — it’s raining today, so they’ve been sleeping in an old doghouse in my yard, as they should be. I will continue to send updates on my Instagram story (@kerrycunningham). We’re gonna get these punks, even if it’s the last thing we do… I don’t know why it would be.
I’ve learned recently that I’m supposed to be putting my money in different things and not just one bank account. My not knowing this before now meant that it was none of my business. I just got a Venmo debit card, and it has been Changing The Game, girls. It’s like free money — money that was already mine to begin with. A Venmo card is so girl math. Oh, what’s girl math, you ask? It’s making things, like expenses or times, seem like less than they really are. For example, it takes 30 minutes to walk to Williamsburg from my apartment, but really, that’s just 15 minutes twice — not bad at all. Or if I wanna buy the new Apple Airpod Maxes, it’s really only $30 for each time I use them — in this case, it’s using them 20 times. That’s so inexpensive, wow! The Venmo card is using money that feels like it was given to you out of the blue, so really it’s like a gift card. How cool and chic and also fun, as well! I recommend everybody get a card like this.
Well, the holidays are right around the corner, and you know what that means: time to buy some great holiday gifts for your loved ones! If you’re having a difficult time figuring out what to get people, I’m here to HELP. Take a look at my Gift Guide:
A shower: tell your siblings that enough is enough. Give them a portable shower, and tell them to Get A Job.
A personalized Spotify Wrapped, but for your favorite inappropriate comments they made throughout the year. Let them know that most of the things they said lined up with people from Burlington or Cambridge or Berkeley, or maybe even wherever UCONN is! If it adds up to over 20,000 minutes, please call 911.
Genocide for Dummies: let your loved ones who still say there are two sides to this conflict know that you’re aware of how horrible they sound and that you’d like to make it your job to teach them a lesson or two or five. Genocide for Dummies is here to help.
A houseplant that is on its last legs: teach them the lesson of hard work and loss by gifting them a dried-up pothos. Name it after yourself, too, so it becomes a point of tension in your friendship.
A car charger that you bought at the gas station to use in your Uhaul rental van but realized you didn’t need and tried to return but you weren’t allowed to return it because you opened the packaging and used it once: there’s gotta be at least one friend who needs a new car charger, right? Their holiday is made.
Sister Act on Blu-ray.
Money: to help them pay for a family of kitties to get spayed and neutered and vaccinated from Coronavirus 19 and the 1918 flu … I have no idea who this could be for.
Maybe like a nice necklace from Mejuri? I don’t know.
That’s my Gift Guide. If you don’t like it: no one asked. If you do like it: okay? Like, what do you want from me a medal? You want a congratulations? You didn’t even write it. And neither did I.
I simply cannot stop thinking about these cats, and so I have to go hang out with them again outside. I hope you all got exactly what you were expecting from this week’s Circle Back. If you were expecting something incredibly informative and moving, then maybe you need to go read Chicken Soup for the Soul. This newsletter isn’t for the faint of heart, nor is it for the dyslexic. Tihs newlsetetr is for the literaet. And I have always said that.
movie rec: May December (2023) — I cannot recommend this one enough. The Riverdale star to Academy Award nominee pipeline is about to pop off for Charles Melton. This movie has it all: Julianne Moore, Natalie Portman, a storyline, a director, a screenwriter, cameras to film each scene, acting — truly all of it. This movie really is great, though. Go watch!
book rec: On Palestine by Ilan Pappé and Noam Chomsky
person to go bowling with as soon as you possibly can: me
a company whose customer service has been awful, i really don’t know what has happened to them all over the course of the years: B*ggu’s, apparently, now that I work there
… something to think about.