What do Gasolina, Work, Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!, HOT TO GO!, and Everytime We Touch all have in common?
you have one guess and if you don't get it then the CIA will be waiting at your door
What do Gasolina, Work, Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!, HOT TO GO!, and Everytime We Touch all have in common? Yes, you’ve got it! Combined, they are the government name of my firstborn child.
Just messin, everybody. These are all songs that were used to give my cousin Sima’s lil nine-monther, Zulal, a dance party before she had to do the worst thing imaginable: Sit In A Car Seat. It tricked her every time — she’s nine months old, not ten; her brain isn’t developed enough yet to know our motives and methods of twickewy.
And now, we only have two more days of dance party songs to get her in that dang car seat, and once we figure out what those songs are, they will be added to my firstborn’s name.
November on the West Coast has felt like the perfect month to do a tour with a baby. The weather wasn’t too hot nor too cold nor too something else nor whatever nor nor nor. The mountains made the drives interesting, and the improvised songs that were sung to keep baby Z amused were most definitely inspired by the vibez of the country roads, which were then combined with the vibez of the cities we visited. So … indie pop music. It was great it was superb it was something! Everything is something — and I’ve always said that.
One of my favorite parts of this tour was getting to see cities and towns that I don’t know too dang much about. Ok, hold on:
There were lots of signs that were spaced so weirdly, which HAS to be a West Coast thing because the spacing in New York is only bad between buildings, not signs. One sign said PETAREA. Go ahead. Say it out loud. It’s Pet Area. At a rest stop. For pets. There was no space in between. This is something that could’ve been resolved decades ago. But instead, we’re resolving it in my world-renowned, Pulitzer prize-winning newsletter Circle Back. Like and subscribe!
Another sign said DUMP NO MATERIAL WHATEVER but the WHATEVER was directly below DUMP NO MATERIAL. It was spaced like they fully gave up on telling us what to do.
I’m gonna be honest: I don’t remember any other signs, so I can’t continue talking about this. I think we’re all thankful it’s over, though.
There’s something about being away from everyone you live near that makes you want to catch up with them. I’ve been catching up with so many friends (just a plug to let you all know that I have friends) since leaving New York for most of the month, and it’s felt really nice. It’s so weird to sometimes feel closer to people when you’re away from them. Well, actually, I don’t think that’s what I mean. I think it’s just a reminder of how close you are to people once you temporarily leave them. And it just makes you want to see them again soon! butdotheywanttoseeyouagainsoon ohmygodaretheyactuallysogladyourenotthere waitkerryyourintrusivethoughtsareatitagain kerrytellyourghostwritertostopmakingyoulookcuckoobananas grammarlystoptellingmethesesentenceswithoutspacesareerrors
Right now, we’re on our way to Zion National Park to gEt oUr nAtUrE oN and then heading to the only place that seems like a good one to end a trip that created lifelong friendships (everyone here was already friends) and memories that will last 7-10 business days: LAS VEGAS.
We’re staying on The Strip, which means I will have at least … 23 opportunities to get Zulal to meet an Elvis impersonator. And then I will have 22 opportunities to get married by an Elvis impersonator — I don’t like odd numbers.
To end this week’s Circle Back, here are a few photos from this gorgeous lil tour:
Recently, I’ve been getting asked by people I don’t know what kind of writing I do, and I have to bashfully tell them “comedy writing.” But it feels so weird to say that because that means you’re very confident that you’re funny. So also recently, I’ve been saying, that I do comedy writing, unless it’s not funny — then it’s just regular writing. And that has been getting some laughs. So now I’ve gone back to saying I do comedy writing. Just something to let you all into my fully developed brain, that’s all.
If there was one thing I wanted to leave you all with tonight, it would be this:
babies poop so much, and i really admire their bravery and confidence to just do that. although, if i were rewarded with a brand new outfit each time i blew a hole through the minivan, i, too, would be brave and confident about that.
Ugh, I’m so glad we’re ending on this note. Have a good week, everybody. Have a good Thanksgiving or don’t. I’m not your boss, and I hope I never am. That is honestly too much pressure that you’re putting on me, and I actually really don’t appreciate how pushy you’re all being. I’m gonna have to really think about giving you another newsletter next week. This has honestly gone on too far. Wow. I can’t believe we’re ending on this note.
movie rec: Lady Bird, but only if you’re in Sacramento, like I was, because then you can picture yourself rolling out of a car on the highway
book rec: I don’t have one today because I have not been able to read a book on this tour. Instead, I was reading every facial expression Zulal had so that I could understand every single thing she was trying to tell me. And it worked. We speak the same language now.
podcast rec: Ride with Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Barone — it got us through every drive these past two weeks