this week I am fighting for the rights of Shakira's purse that got snatched by wild boars
She Wolf should be changed to She Boar, and Shakira should be locking her closet door.
Britney is free y’all!!!!!!! We all know this — I don’t need to say anything else. Onto the next subject.
I am what you would call a “Shakira fan.” Basically, what that means is I’m a fan of Shakira. I’m a fan of everything she does — making music, fútbol halftime performing, football halftime performing, The Voice judging, guest-starring on an episode of Wizards of Waverly Place, getting attacked by wild boars — everything. This past week, Shakira posted on her Instagram story that she and her son were attacked by a pair of wild boars at a park in Barcelona and that the boars stole her purse and ran back into the abyss. When she somehow got the purse back she said and I quote, “They’ve destroyed everything.” According to the BBC, Shakira is only the latest victim of aggressive hogs invading Barcelona. In her Instagram story, she told her son to tell everyone how she stood up to the wild boar. I thought that was kind of funny. It’s almost like she wanted her son to vouch for her so people didn’t think she was lying. I don’t know why she needed her son to verify it; if we didn’t believe her, we could’ve just asked her hips. I already regret making that joke.
My favorite news of this week is from when Senator Blumenthal asked Facebook if they will commit to ending Finsta:
For my deaf subscribers and other readers who didn’t watch the video, Senator Blumenthal flat out asks, “Will you commit to ending Finsta?” and the Facebook person is like, “uhhhhhh what?” She goes on to explain that Finsta is just a private Instagram account that a lot of young people (like moi) create for only their close friends to follow. It’s stuff you wouldn’t post on your regular account — an account that your parents follow and potential employers will see. Blumenthal decided not to listen to her and said “Finsta is Facebook?” and she’s like, “no.” He tried to create a “Gotcha!” moment and instead got himself.
This on its own is already hilarious, but it makes me think about other things that young people do that older people refuse to understand. Old people in government (except for Bernie Sanders, maybe Elizabeth Warren, Mike Gravel [rip], and perhaps a few others) don’t like new things. Unfortunately, young people are included in that. They don’t like new technology, new music, new ideas, New Jersey — I’m okay with that one. They really don’t like when young people know things that they don’t. So when Senator Blumenthal heard about finstas, he just had to get angry about it. This is a HUGE stretch, but old people getting angry about little things like this almost makes us forget about the big things they get angry about. For example, when racist and homophobic congresspeople get mad about people being gay, it’s not even because of the Bible; it’s because it’s something new in their lives that they don’t want to have to deal with. Little do they know, they don’t actually have to treat things like that this way — things in this example meaning human rights. They could just be okay with it and move on. Now, I know it’s not just that they don’t like change; they’re also homophobic. And they suck. And they’ll never change. And they don’t know what a finsta is. Grammarly wanted me to change finsta to fiesta, and actually, I think it’s correct about that.
I made a TikTok account this week DON’T talk to me about it. I thought I could go without ever making one, but that’s just a dumb way to live my life.
In other news, my aunt’s dog stole all of my Baggu masks and won’t give them back. If I don’t get those masks back by midnight tonight, I will be turning her into a mask.
Yesterday, I went to the New York Women’s March for Abortion Rights. While I am as feminist as they come, I wasn’t too excited about attending. I don’t know if it’s because of how radicalized I’ve become in the past two years, or if it’s just that I’m so tired of fighting for things, but this march didn’t feel like it was good enough. Getting there and seeing a huge crowd of people with signs that said they were tired of protesting, that abortion rights are human rights, and that Ruth Bader Ginsburg didn’t fight until her dying day for this to happen was sad. And hearing white people start Black Lives Matter cheers until they didn’t feel like saying it anymore felt performative. Weirdly, the whole march felt performative. It felt like a high school sports rally. People were just excited to cheer and hold signs up in the air and wear pink. And then when we finally started marching, the NYPD helped us get to Washington Square Park. They were wearing uniforms without aggressive riot gear, like what they would wear to Black Lives Matter protests. People would talk about how this movement was inclusive because they also thought cops were racist and weren’t being very nice to people of color, but then they got friendly with the cops so that they would allow us to walk down 6th Avenue. It felt performative. It felt fake! If the Women’s Movement were inclusive, it would have also been thought of as a Black Lives Matter movement. And it would’ve been a climate change movement and a housing movement and a LGBTQ+ movement if people would just understand that they all have to do with each other, and we can’t get any of them if we don’t include all of them all the time. I know we were there specifically because of the Texas abortion bans, but if we were really there to do something about it, there would have been more talk about the fact that communities of women of color are more likely to have limited access to safe and legal abortions than white women. Yes, they did mention it, but briefly.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I think a lot of white women go to these women’s rights marches because it’s exciting and fun and they can go out to lunch after. They think they’re fighting for the people who are actually dealing with the consequences of these choices, but they’re really fighting for themselves and only themselves. When it becomes about other people, they begin to lose interest. Not everyone, but I think this is true. They go to the marches to take photos of themselves so people can see that they’re ~controversial~ and rebellious. But what are they actually fighting for? I also want to clarify that I do believe that these marches can empower and inspire people, and I’m happy that we were all verbally fighting for our rights. I just wish more happened because of them.
I’m struggling to appreciate things like women’s marches and protests. After two summers of bloody marches that were peaceful until the police arrived, I don’t think we’re working hard enough. By we, I mean white people — white women. We’re not doing enough. And people will criticize that and say that white women aren’t equal to men, either. But we’re way closer than other women are. And we’re not doing enough! And I’m so tired of things not working and our performative activism.
I don’t want to end this newsletter tonight on a depressing note, so I’m going to talk about dog-watching in New York. I’ve done quite a bit of dog-watching this past month, and let me tell you: it is the most amazing thing to do here. Oh, you’re here to become a famous star on the Broadway? Well, you can forget it! There are more interesting stars in town, and those stars are dogs that have been cooped up all day and are so grateful to be going for a walk. I think that’s what it is. I keep seeing dogs who are being taken on walks and they just keep looking up at their owners and smiling. They’re so happy to be going for a walk, and they love their owners! Wow! I’ve been staring out a window all day, and now I get to be out on the town walking through large bags of trash at eye level! Thank you so much, owner, for this incredible opportunity that you give me once a day. I am forever blessed. As a gift, I will try to catch a rat and then give it to you.
Thank you for continuing to read my newsletter! I never know what I’m gonna write about, and I never know what my brain is gonna say, so I appreciate you all keeping up with it. I’ll add some photos below from yesterday’s women’s march. I know I just made fun of white women taking photos of themselves at women’s marches and that there is a photo of me, but my aunt told me I had to get a photo of myself so that my unborn children can see it one day.
Amazing flavio😍😍