this week has been very exhausting
so if you don't like that i don't have much to creatively say this week, you can sue me! please don't do that actually my rent just went up
First, we will start off with the most important photo of the week:
And then the second most important photo of the week:
What I would do to have Colin Farrell assist me up the stairs so that I can receive my award…
The Golden Globes was a covid super-spreader event this year, with Jamie Lee Curtis and Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson and probably tons of others catching it after the show. I’m pretty sure Jamie Lee Curtis kissed the cheek of every celeb who walked past her that night, so I’m not confident that anyone got away empty-handed.
Jerrod Carmichael was the host and did it the way you should always do it, which is Not Caring About The Consequences. The speeches were sweet but long, and several of the winners didn’t even go to the show. Very funny. I heard covid is the cuckoo-craziest it’s ever been, so it might be smart to keep your masks on again? On the train? At the Oscars? In the movie theatre? In the shower? The U.S. really is so bad at making this go away. But somehow, I still haven’t gotten it. Or perhaps I’ve just had it this entire time since 2020. What are the symptoms again? Thinking everyone around you is acting and that nothing is real? Not hearing back ever from jobs you’ve applied to? Sneezing when you’re near a cat? If these are all of the symptoms, then someone get me another booster STAT.
Here are two tweets from this week that really caught my eye:
I’ll start by saying that I am incredibly indifferent to what actually happened here, but I am so intrigued by the photo choices in this tweet.
Why do they look similar to each other?
How did they get a photo of the pigeon he killed?
Why did the pigeon hire someone to take a headshot of him?
This tweet is almost better. It has a different photo of Michael Bay that makes him look like a completely different person, and this Twitter account used the same outline for their tweet that the other account did.
Why did this pigeon get a second headshot?
Is it a different pigeon?
Does society not know the difference between pigeons?
Did Michael Bay kill two pigeons?
Anyway, I screenshotted these tweets right as I saw them because I knew they’d be incredible content. Great job, Kerry! You did it! You found the scene-stealing tweets! How can we reward you? A writing job? Sorry, I think we’re busy that day.
Alright, you’ve stayed here this long. I’ll tell you why I’m exhausted. This week, my landlord used my roommate's decision to move out as an opportunity to raise the rent in my apartment. This is very not chill for me. The radiator in my living room hasn’t been working for a month, but my rent is going up. This could all happen as soon as March 1st, which is tough since I have yet to find a job that can make this rent increase more comfortable to pay. I’ve been looking for other apartments just to see, and everything is tiny and still more money than what I’m paying now. I don’t mind a small apartment, but I do hate the idea of having to get rid of even more stuff after getting rid of 75% of everything I knew when my childhood home was sold. Not very chill for me! I just have to tell myself that these are all unimportant items and to live even smaller. It’s wild to pay so much money for a place that has loose outlets and a broken radiator and bad wiring and a shower that can’t get cooler once it’s hot, but then being so grateful that the place is big and that I can fit a bed in an extra room for people to come to stay. The government likes to persuade us into thinking that the quality of everything in life from housing to healthcare to public transit is because of socialism, even though we live in a capitalist system. Makes me wonder what it’d be like if we just tested out a socialist economic system one time! Could be very chill for me and everyone else.
And just to add to my fun lil day, a bird pooped on my head as I was walking to work, and then I spilled coffee all over my white pants. I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO WEAR WHITE PANTS WITHOUT SPILLING COFFEE ON THEM. I feel like it canceled out my good luck from the bird poop. I guess we’ll see!
Other than all of that, I did still have the time to see M3GAN this week, and it was so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so fun. LOLs lots of laughs lots of love. Throw a gen-z robot killer in a story and you’ve got yourself a Disney Channel Original Movie! There’s only one thing I have to wonder about lil miss M3GAN:
Where was she on January 6th?
And who made this photo?
Will M3GAN be in the next Avatar movie? Tune in 10 years from now!
Okay, this is all I can give you this week. I have a lot to think about — a lot to ponder on — a lot to cry about. But don’t worry! This week, I was daydreaming so hard that I figured out the premise of a TV show I wanna write. And I’m not gonna lie to you folks: it’s pretty good I think. Stay tuned!
movie rec: M3GAN
tv show rec: Mad Men
book rec: the B*GGU coffee table book haha i’m just kidding it costs $65
music rec: I can’t stop listening to the og Jonas Brothers this week what is that about
hug rec: me
You didn’t recommend it... but boy oh boy do I wanna pick up my Warby coffee table book and give it a good lookin thru!