this just in! i am very sunburnt
where am i sunburnt? unfortunately i signed an nda that says i cannot tell u where the burns in fact are
Well. Here we are again with another Circle Back newsletter entering the promotions section of your email and also your bloodstreams. I am writing this week’s lil lady from Rockaway Beach because:
I think it’s cool and cute and chic that I’m at the beach in my ginormous sunhat doing my little writing.
I did not manage my time management very well, so I am now here at Rockaway with an iPad and a portable keyboard. And my sunhat.
Anyway, it’s a win-win because I’m at the beach and I’m doing what I love: getting burnt to a crisp. You thought I was gonna say writing, didn’t you?
Here’s the thing about me at the beach. If I go, I have to remind myself that no matter how responsible I am with my sunscreen, I am going to burn. Something unique about me is that I burn when the moon is too bright, so there really is no hope for me. I even bought Cerave face sunscreen and body sunscreen because my skin is so sensitive, and yeah, maybe it’ll make sure I don’t get any blackheads whilst beachin, but my skin is still gonna make its merry way to becoming the Pantone color of the summer: Satan’s butthole.
It’s such a beautiful day out. Not a cloud in the sky. Just a huge kite and a helicopter flying close to the water in search of a body or maybe treasure. We’re just out here eating watermelon and laying in silence. We might even start conversing soon or go throw a frisbee. The possibilities are endless.
People are really just writing articles about anything these days. Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson are having a low-key date night at the Queen’s Jubilee — the most low-key event in London’s modern history. I know that’s not what this says, but could you imagine thinking that the Queen’s Jubilee would be the perfect date? Yeah, I just really wanna have like a super chill, low-key date tonight. What about the Queen’s 75th anniversary of her being THE QUEEN? Well, actually I was gonna say that would be stupid, but honestly, any way to steal the Queen’s thunder is a good one.
I’m sure this person had their reasons, but the most important part of this story to me is the headline. Throwing cake at the Mona Lisa? Give my compliments to the chef.
Headlines are so funny — in an actually funny way and in a dumb way. For example:
“A gator was involved” is such a silly way to say that an alligator ate a man’s arm. That sure tells a different story. They might as well have just said, “A gator was in the swamp when a man’s body was found without an arm. Coincidence? Yes.” What was The New York Times worried about? Canceling gators? Making people protest against gators? AGAB? Something to think about.
Really quick here’s a photo I took of myself in a coffee shop the other day. Ok, we are moving on, everyone.
I just did a whole beach day, and I still feel very alive. Not even exhausted. Not even tired. Extremely burnt. And I think the reason why I don’t feel exhausted is because I’ve been spending a lot of time outside lately. I’ve been runnin, bladin, hoopin, walkin, sittin near windows (a classic), and it’s been making it easier to be in hot, sunny weather. I know you’re probably saying, Kerry, what. Are you telling us you have a hard time being outside? What are we even reading here! And MAYBE I am saying that, but MAYBE it’s because I am more Irish than a pint of Guinness, and my skin lets me know when I’ve been outside for far too long (more than 20 minutes). But just like everyone be sayin, the more you do something, the easier it gets. So, you heard it here first: I am going to spend more and more time outside in the sun — more than you can ever imagine. And from this, I will be able to survive the world ending when the sun explodes in 2052. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers in the meantime.
Ending this week’s letter with a few photos from the beach!
Very good !