there's something so funny to me about really divey bars having simplehuman trash cans
like who are you trying to trick here i see the used condom hanging out of it there's no need for a $100 dollar garbage can at union pool
If I hear one of you even whisper a word about not getting a Circle Back since two Sundays ago I will dox you.
Now that we’re past that …
Something about me is suddenly I am so good at wrapping gifts. I don’t know if the older you get you just suddenly know how to do it or if, like, the closer you get to potential motherhood you just also get better at gift wrapping. Is it just part of evolution? This is very not feminist of me, I think, but is it that the more of a woman I become, the better I am at household activities? I’m getting really good at finding things now — things that I would give up on finding and ask my mom to find and then she would find them; now, I can find them all by myself. And now I really can’t stand a crumb on the counter. I mean … what are we, animals? And then suddenly I’m just extremely good at gift wrapping? I was famously so bad at it for years — decades, even. And now? I do a gorgeous rendition of an elf folding paper over boxes at the North Pole. Like, spot on.
Anyway, I just figured that after two Sundays of no Circle Back, you’d all probably want to hear about the skills I’ve discovered that I have. Gift wrapping is one. Helping people get songs out of their heads by putting new ones in is two. So far, these are all I have learned about new skills that I have. We can move on.
SO there are quite a few horrible things happening to some countries right now (have been for a while), but while I have my opinions, I don’t feel like we all need to be making our voices heard about them — especially if we don’t have all of the information surrounding them. I have done quite a bit of reading on it all, but I still don’t feel like I’ve researched it enough, so I’m not gonna throw down my opinion on this very late episode of Circle Back. Just wanted to say this because I know that I do give my opinions on big things sometimes, but this one isn’t meant for here, yet. I feel like we’ve been hearing many of them from everyone we know, so I’m gonna keep mine with people who explicitly ask for them.
No, you know what? Fuck it. Here’s my opinion:
I think it’s fine if you wear socks with sandals because GROW UP it’s comfortable.
If any of you have a problem with this opinion, just know that I’ve done a ton of research to be able to confidently make this statement.
Okay, I’m sorry, it’s really not funny, but, again, it’s something that needs to be fully understood in order to make a statement. I don’t have all the info, yet! But also: free Palestine and support refugees in Armenia … duh.
The past couple of weeks have been so busy for me. I went back to Chicago for what felt like two minutes, came back to Brooklyn, and then instantly went to the Catskills. There were different priorities these past couple of Sundays, alright? There’s no need to shout at me. But also:
My uncle has been in Senegal for a few weeks — let’s not tell him that it hasn’t just been two days of no Circle Back, alright, folks?
Just because I missed a couple of Sundays sometimes Mondays does not mean, I repeat, DOES NOT mean that I’m gonna stop writing weekly. I really enjoy doing this. It be kinda fun. The temperature in New York is finally beginning to cool down, which means Halloween is right around the corner. What’s everyone being? I have this idea to have a Halloween Party where everyone dresses up as a Lindsay Lohan character. I think … it would go viral. And isn’t that what we all want — to go viral? What else is there to do anymore? Fight for people’s rights? Convince the government to lower the rent? Stop countries from committing genocides? Run a marathon? Noooo, we want to go viral!!! Going viral is how we get to be famous and then we get to promote our opinions about things that we don’t know anything about — like posting a photo of Palestinian children crying with a caption over it saying “Pray for Israel” or calling yourself a Zionist when you don’t realize that it doesn’t actually mean what you think it does. Or posting a photo of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce and saying, “Ugh, why couldn’t she have dated a climate scientist instead?!” These are all very big posts to post.
Can you even imagine being so famous that anything you post can and will go viral? I would literally never post ever again. That is so much pressure, which is why it always blows my mind when certain famous people post so much. Do they just not know that they have millions of followers, or are they very overconfident? It could honestly be both. It could also be neither. It also could just be them posting. But it probably is them posting. There’s no way Justin Bieber’s assistant posted Pray for Israel attached to a photo of Palestinian children. That is a major Justin Bieber move. He famously thanked not only God, but Jesus at the VMAs, so he definitely posted that Instagram story. When I win the Pulitzer for Circle Back, I’m gonna thank not only my mom and dad but also my parents. They’ll never see it coming.
I promise all of you that I will be posting this Sunday. As it is the Lord’s Day, I asked for the permission of not only God but Jesus, as well, and they both said, “Sorry. The number you have reached is not available. Please try again later. Goodbye.” So I think it’s fine to post this Sunday.
Thanks for not unsubscribing. Have a good rest of your Taco Tuesdays. God bless. Just kidding … unless?
movie rec: Ghost (1990) — a Whoopi Academy Award win, Patrick Swayze, and “Molly, you in danger, girl.” it’s gonna make you cringe, but it’s also gonna make you cry, and sometimes, that’s a perfect movie for an October evening.
music rec: Javelin — Sufjan Stevens and also OHMME — Finom … you could listen to one right after the other. Started with Javelin; end with OHMME — that’s a gorgeous time for your emotions
pictures to view:
see ya suckers