the grammys are longer than a school day now i can no longer watch for the love of the game
it's 11:30 pm and we only just saw the 'In Memoriam' what are we even doing anymore
This weekend was HUGE, you guys. History was made. Our new apartment had its first ever guest that is known as my mom. So, it wasn’t the first guest we’ve had, but it was the first guest that is my mom. First mom guest. And Lemme Tell Ya: she was a great one.
Our weekend in New York consisted of all good food and one tourist attraction. She arrived to a home-cooked meal, had the New York bagel she so desperately needed (her words not mine just kidding my words), did her best to split the G of a tasty lil Guinn, had amazing Italian food, waited in line for the best Irish soda bread in the city, waited in line AGAIN for Katz’ Deli (le tourist attraction), had a New York slice, and ended the trip with great sushi. If that isn’t a perfect New York food weekend I don’t know what is ??????
The only requests my mom had for this weekend were to have good food and have a chill weekend, and she has stated to the press that received both. My only request was that she help me figure out the rest of the boxes I needed to get through so that my room could finally be livable. I received this, as well. I already knew what I needed to throw out, donate, et cetera and what I needed to keep or put in a box to send back to her in Chicago, but sometimes you just need a Michele with one L in your room to make you feel dumb about the fact that you still have things in there that should’ve been thrown out decades ago. I had a bag that literally only had an empty bottle of soap, melted Jolly Ranchers, and old checkbooks from a bank neither of us are part of anymore. If you’re wondering why I had that bag, it’s because I saw a checkbook in there and knew my mom needed to tell me to throw it out — once I saw that checkbook, I didn’t need to check that bag for anything else.
It was also important for my mom to be there to help me with this project because I needed to remind her of my youth and innocence and naivety. Example:
Michele with one L: All of these old bills and credit card offers — you need to shred these. Do you have a shredder?
Me: No, I was born in 1997.
Michele with one L: Fuck YOu.
So, it’s kind of a win-win situation for both of us. I get to remind her that I’m a young, hot (?), confident girl living my life to the fullest without a shredder, and she gets to remind me that I’m a young, dumb idiot because I don’t have a shredder. She’s very proud of me.
All in all, a great trip. Let the record show that it was a great trip.
Paying rent again after not paying rent for a little always has that feeling of … what is it … what’s the word … pain. Rent really makes your paycheck DIP. So cool. I always pay my rent one day early because I hate the stress of knowing the first of the month is arriving and that I’m gonna have to pay rent. If I am ever given the task of having to press the big red button that blows up a country and they give me a specific date that I have to do it, I’m gonna end up doing it the day before so that I can get it over with and it’s gonna cause even a major, separate problemo — separate from the fact that there’s a big red button that can blow up a country. Just don’t ask me to do things that can destroy lives because I’m gonna do it a day early.
It’s such a bummer that everything going on in the world is real life because if it weren’t, Trump blaming the American Airlines plane crash on DEI and Democrats would be the funniest shit ever. None of it’s funny, but I just still can’t believe the things he says end up on the news every single day — things that children say and get in trouble for. He says the same things over and over that would make a parent say, “I’m gonna count to three.” And then stuff like this:
This is all childish. Do all parents tell you that “eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” thing or is it just the parents of kids who are not politicians? I’m not blaming Canada and Mexico for doing that, but it’s all giving me h e a d a c h e s.
The WHITE HOUSE responding to a private citizen? Feels like an autocracy is in the distance!
Whenever dumb shit happens in our government, I always feel so above it. I’m sure we all feel so above it. I’m sure we all feel like this:
At the same time, I don’t feel I could do a better job. Well, I wouldn’t say dumb, racist shit, but I also wouldn’t know how to do the job. So, feeling above them all is, in one way, ignorant but, in another, true and real. Ignorance is true and also real. Anyway, enough of this. Let’s go to the Grammys.
Let us begin with Kanye West, who showed up in a black t-shirt and black pants, and his wife, who showed up naked under a fur coat. I’m not gonna add the photo here, but I feel like every time I’ve seen a photo of Kanye’s wife, she has been naked, and it has been against my will. Do people know that they don’t have to keep inviting Kanye to award shows?
Sabrina Carpenter? a performer, a comedian, a popstar, an icon
Doechii? i know that’s right
Chappell Roan? on a pink pony? goosebumps speech (as in I had goosebumps listening, not that the speech reminded me of Goosebumps)? a performer, an entertainer, a popstar, an icon
I shan’t lie … I am shocked Jay Z is showing his face. another this moment:
Jaden Smith looking dumb as hell:
Lady Gaga music video ending up being a Mastercard commercial feels like that one Super Bowl commercial that was really sad and heartwarming and then it ended up being for Subway do you guys know what I’m talking about
Will Smith talking about Quincy Jones feels random
Cynthia Erivo singing Fly Me To The Moon when she knows that we’re all expecting her to sing … something … else
well fine she sounded great
Stevie Wonder plays one little song every single year at the Grammys he is always available to receive a standing O
everybody hates Trump
I want to keep writing about the Grammys, but for some reason the show is like seven hours long now. I don’t remember that from years past. I feel like this awards show is having a stroke. There’s no plot. There’s no story, even. Those are the same thing. Taylor Swift is drunk. Janelle Monae is moonwalking. Nothing is making any sense. I don’t know if I can continue. Actually, this is my newsletter, so I will not continue. My final thoughts are: The Grammys this year were very important. The biggest stage in music had artists asking for trans children to be protected, Shakira dedicated her speech to immigrants, Doechii dedicated her speech to black women, Alicia Keys talked about how important DEI is, and Chappell Roan used her first-ever Grammy win to address the labor practices of labels. Even though the show was days long, I think we got a few good things out of it. And to that, I say goodb-
I fell asleep.
movie rec: A Complete Unknown (2024) — watched it it good
music rec: Abracadabra by Lady Gage — Bad Romance era is BACK
album of the year: COWBOY CARTER by Beyonce
album of the year in my heart: COWBOY CARTER by Beyonce are u trying to get a hit on me ????
"don’t ask me to do things that can destroy lives because I’m gonna do it a day early." You heard it here first.