the academy did not vote in favor of st. patrick's day this year i can tell you that
an acceptance speech from colin farrell or brendan gleeson or that boy who has RIF (resting irish face) or the girl with my first name or paul mescal? what we could've had...
Starting off this Oscars recap by humbly and embarrassingly admitting that I got the most wrong on my Oscars ballot compared to my friends who also voted. All Quiet on the Western Front really committed to the jumpscare by winning everything. Great movie, but when you’ve been rebooted, like, four times, I’m not voting for you.
Another thing to quickly mention is that it was pretty wild of the show to do a two-minute In Memoriam and then have there be a QR code to go see the rest of the people who died. Imagine you died and then the only way people would be able to honor you is by figuring out how to scan a QR code on their screens.
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT. I’m here to discuss the disappointment this Academy is. There needs to be a total refresh of the voters, and I’ll show you why:
iT’s nOt fAiR fOr yOu tO sTaRt SuDdEnLy bEaTiNg A fRyInG pAn aNd sAy tHeY’rE iGnOrInG bLaCk pEoPlE.
vIoLa dAvIs aNd tHe LaDy DiReCtOr nEeD tO SiT dOwN, sHuT uP, aNd ReLaX.
I mean … is that not enough of a quote to switch up the voters here? Here’s one more quote from an anonymous voter about Andrea Riseborough getting nominated (well, they were supposed to be talking about Riseborough’s nomination) just to convince you a little more:
“The Academy has bent over backwards to be inclusive.” Is that right?
I love Jamie Lee Curtis just as much as the next Freaky Friday superfan, but are you gonna tell me her performance in Everything Everywhere All At Once was stronger than Stephanie Hsu’s in the same film? Or Angela Bassett mourning the death of her son and the alleged death of her daughter in Wakanda Forever? I didn’t see The Whale, but Hong Chau in The Menu is the only reason why that movie was worth it. And KERRY CONDON in Banshees of Inisherin? That wouldn’t have been a diverse choice, but I would’ve thought her over Jamie Lee for this award.
Jamie Lee Curtis is an icon, a child of Hollywood royalty, and the true mother of Lindsay Lohan. But an Oscar winner this year she should not have been. I’m so sorry Jamie Lee I hope you never read this (you literally never will). I will congratulate her on this picture, though:
Looks very similar to me from this past weekend:
I have no notes.
This year, we got a Rihanna performance and a Lady Gaga performance, so we can’t really complain there. Lady Gaga cleared off all of her makeup before her performance of Hold My Hand, her song for the military propaganda movie Top Gun: Maverick. That on its own was talent, considering how much makeup people put on for this show.
She was dressed in ripped jeans and a t-shirt and gave us a reminder of one of the most inspiring performances of my childhood: Mike Wazowski singing She’s Out of My Hair.
It’s uncanny.
No notes.
Now, here’s the controversial one.
I’m starting off by saying that I’m very happy Michelle Yeoh won. She’s amazing, and she was incredible in Everything Everywhere All At Once. Seriously the best movie of the year. Did I think Cate Blanchett’s performance in Tär was stronger? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh actually nevermind I’m not gonna do that. Cate Blanchett blew my mind, but Michelle Yeoh is breathtaking and deserves it all. She is the best, and I want to see her in everything … everywhere … all at once.
Everyone, take a deep sigh of relief! Austin Butler did not win Best Actor. But neither did Paul Mescal, and I am not going to stop until he is recognized for his work in Aftersun. Are you gonna tell me that after watching that movie, you also didn’t sob all the way to the train? Shut your damn mouths. The man is an actor. Somewhere (the Vanity Fair Oscars afterparty) Daisy Edgar Jones is plotting a Carrie-themed prom for all of the Academy voters. Brendan Fraser, a man we will all have to volunteer to protect for the rest of his career, won the award. And I’ll tell you right now: my hopes for this award were:
Paul Mescal, but if not,
Colin Farrell’s eyebrows
Colin Farrell
Brendan Fraser
Fourth time the charm! Congrats, George from the jungle.
Circling back to this.
Okay, well I’m so glad I waited until Monday to send this out. Wasn’t it worth it? Now you get to know everything that happened at the Academy Awards, even though it was already all over Twitter.
Next week, someone by the name of Kerry Cunningham will be turning 26, so prepare yourselves for quite the birthday newsletter. And everyone pray for the Irish nominees who now have to go celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in the U.S. since Ireland is not welcoming them back. Paul Mescal, Colin Farrell, Kerry Condon, Brendan Gleeson, Barry Keoghan, and Martin McDonagh (who would most likely be bringing Phoebe Waller-Bridge), I will be having a birthday party next Saturday, March 18th, if y’all would like to come we will be bowling and I will Irish dance for you all if you ask nicely.
movie rec: Aftersun — I’m not kidding you’re going to wonder why Paul Mescal did not win
tv rec: The Last of Us — I haven’t watched the finale I was watching Pedro Pascal at the Oscars instead
music rec: The Cranberries
an awards show that happened last night that would’ve been the perfect place for someone to get slapped: The Oscars
type of smile to make this week:
Liking for Pedro and Andrew