something fishy is going on today, and it's not just because it's the first day of Pisces season
just kidding it is because of that! time for our little fishies to find nemo
Happy Pisces season, suckers!
What an incredible day to be receiving my newsletter.
It’s the greatest time of the year — new Pisces are being born, old Pisces are turning 26 (in a month don’t forget it), and the Kubrick stares are appearing (Stanley Kubrick — a Pisces death March 7, 1999).
Pisces hive, rise up!
A Pisces is compassionate, artistic, empathic, intuitive, and usually drop-dead gorgeous (not my opinion, just stating facts). They smoothly adapt to their surroundings and have huge imaginations. The Pisces zodiac is the final sign on the zodiac wheel, which means it’s a mix of all of them. People in this sign are understanding of everybody, even if they don’t wanna be! Being a Pisces is basically a full-time job … so where’s my salary?
Now, I’m sure you’re wondering, how do I spot a Pisces? Well, I’m here to tell you that it can be easy and it can be difficult. Do their eyes twinkle in the Aquarius moon? Or on March 19, do their eyes twinkle in the Leo moon? Something to think about. Do they look like they know exactly what you need before you know you need it? Are there bags under their eyes because of all of the exhaustion from carrying other people’s emotions their entire lives? Do they look like they have had six concussions? That one might be a little too specific. When you see them, do you stop in your tracks because they’re so beautiful and hilarious and probably really care about important issues and maybe they’re not an amazing swimmer but they were the manager of the swim team in high school and won a leadership award so they probably look like a leader and could probably be the president but would never do that because they have other ideas for their career that do not include pretending to run the country but could do it if they had to? Yeah, so, you’re probably looking at a Pisces. Can be easy or hard to spot.
If you feel like this description didn’t help you understand who Pisces are, here’s a list of some notable ones:
Rihanna
Sidney Poitier
Drew Barrymore
Dakota Fanning
Rashida Jones
Erykah Badu
Lupita Nyong’o
Catherine O’Hara
Shaq (important one)
Steph Curry
Sharon Stone
Liza Minnelli
Simone Biles
Glenn Close
me
Albert Einstein
Steve Irwin
Something important that I just discovered as I searched for notable Pisces is Glenn Close and I have the same birthday. I bet you can’t say that. Sad!!!
I will admit, I did Google search if Hitler was born in the Pisces season just in case I had to scrap this entire newsletter. As you can see, the newsletter is still ongoing.
And if THAT didn’t help you understand who a Pisces is, here’s one more description:
SO that should be enough for you to understand a Pisces. There are ups and downs (mostly ups I mean look at these photo examples), but we love it here. So if you’re a Pisces or you’re about to meet a new Pisces — maybe even a brand new Pisces — congratulations. You did it!
In other news, I went to see Magic Mike’s Last Dance, and something about this movie is that it’s not good at all. Channing Tatum? Star quality. Everything else? Really not good. The middle-aged women in the audience? Their favorite movie of the year. The dancing and stripping? Something we deserved. Will Joe Biden see this movie? I sure hope so.
That’s all for this week. I have to get back to work. These bags won’t sell themselves! Actually, yes, they probably will. The free labor this company gets from people’s TikToks is groundbreaking. We could probably just put a cash box on the counter and tell people to pay what they owe. But don’t tell this company that. A certain Pisces needs this job right now.
movie rec: 22 Jump Street (2014) — the Magic Mike sequel we deserved because Jesus died for our Cyn-thias.
book rec: The Joy Luck Club, written by fellow Pisces Amy Tan
music rec: Desire, I Want To Turn Into You by Caroline Polachek
a Pisces to send a gift to because her birthday is on March 19: me or Glenn Close