something about upstate new york is that you will walk into a crystal shop and the old woman who owns it will ask you to teach her how to use her ipad
did i mention that i'm upstate don't worry i won't mention it again
Oh, my goodness! I can’t believe you’ve caught me in the middle of writing my newsletter upstate! Oh, wow, this is such a surprise. I was just out here upstate on a gorgeous little weekend trip minding my own business when all of a sudden I was writing my newsletter upstate! I was just sitting near a fire this cold chilly snowy Sunday morning upstate and was writing my newsletter. Just writing my newsletter with the Catskill Mountains straight ahead of me, which are upstate. Can hear the creek flowing as I write this. The creek is in the woods and I’m in the woods upstate. I’m upstate, by the way.
Anyway, let’s get it started. If I haven’t mentioned yet, I am in fact upstate, and here are some photos of it:
So not too different from Bushwick. There are river monsters in both places, and also I’d recognize that sky anywhere. Very similar places. It has been very nice to be out of the city for a few days — to just wake up and feel like you don’t need to make any plans. You’re almost forced to do nothing. All there is for me to do is walk through the woods and look for bears. And so far, I have found 11 bears. I made them all BeReals.
Now, I’m going to tell you something with confidence that you will not judge me or make fun of me for my thoughts and ideas right now. This is something I fully believed when I was younger, and still sort of believe in the way, way back of my tiny little mind. I used to think that all mountains were bald. You know exactly what I’m talking about. I thought they all were completely made of rock and that if I were to see someone climbing one from miles and miles away, I’d be able to see their silhouette. Still not getting what I’m saying?
Ok, how about now?
As the sheltered, Midwestern girly that I am, I thought this is what all mountains looked like. So when I moved to Vermont for college, I was completely shocked and — dare I say it — somewhat disappointed. The true mountains are gorgeous — this I know. But I couldn’t believe this was something I truly believed for most of my life. And I’m not afraid to say it: I still get surprised when I see a real mountain and there are trees all over it. And not only that but there are HOUSES on it? How do they not fall off? Who is building homes on mountains? Hasn’t anybody ever heard of an avalanche? Hasn’t anybody seen those videos of bears opening people’s doors? And I’m the dumb one for believing in bald mountains? Read a book, everyone. Learn something for once.
Something that’s not fun about right now is that the sun is leaving us much quicker than we’d like. The days are getting shorter, and the citizens are getting sadder. If you’re looking to not be sad when it’s dark out, then I have the place for you. New York’s hottest club is watching season two of The White Lotus on the couch and feeling the warmth of Italy through the screen, as well as the warmth of Jennifer Coolidge and Aubrey Plaza’s comedy, as well as a hug from Theo James. You can have all these things every Sunday night, even if your radiator isn’t working!
It would be really something if the next season was filmed at the Wisconsin Dells or Epcot or something. Oh, you want culture? Try the Great Wolf Lodge, baby girl. Here, it may still be cold and dark outside, but you can hang out in a very brightly lit and humid indoor waterpark for as long as you want until someone poops in the pool! Imagine Jennifer Coolidge asking for an Oreo cake (season two ref) in the Wisconsin Dells, and they come back with not only an Oreo cake but a basket of cheese curds and a butter burger, also. Imagine the drama of that season at the Kalahari indoor waterpark. One time, I went to the Great Wolf Lodge with my family, and they had tiger cubs available to pet and take a photo with. So if you need a setting with culture and wildlife, Mike White, I sure have the place for you.
I don’t know what else to talk about today. I’m having a nice little time staring at the trees, and I can’t really do that if I’m typing on a computer. But then again, I love typing on a computer. I love staring at a screen! I love being on my phone I love watching the TikToks I love posting on the Instagrams I love tweeting I love binge-watching the shows and I love texting the homies. Sue me! As a Gen-Z cusper, I am well aware that this isn’t my fault. We did not invent the electronics that were handed to us, ok. We did not choose to wake up one Christmas morning and receive a GameBoy — Santa was in charge of that. We did not make it so that it’s incredible difficult today to live in this world without a smartphone, ok. All we do is go with the flow and then get yelled at for it. BUT I’M NOT GONNA LET ANYONE YELL AT ME ANY LONGER. If you wanna yell at me, the door’s right over there. I’m too busy for your yelling. I have so many social media apps I have to check every hour and can’t even pencil in your yelling on my schedule. Ya know what? While we’re looking at this beautiful forest in upstate New York which is where I am, why don’t you make like one of these trees and leave? LEAVE ME ALONE. I’m busy I have to continue my Duo Lingo streak, and you’re not letting me learn French because you just wanna get mad at me for using a device that someone from the Baby Boomer generation made, so maybe you should be mad at the Baby Boomers. I have made so many points today. I have to go.
movie rec: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) — just two dudes bein guys this whole movie it’s pretty great
music rec: And In The Darkness, Hearts Aglow — new album by Weyes Blood
book rec: On Freedom by Maggie Nelson — I’m still reading this, but I loved Bluets, so we’ll see how it goes
bagel rec: one from Montreal — so simple and easy for all of us to get a very easy recommendation