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is it really a farm wedding if you weren't chased by a bat during it
is this not as relatable as i'm hoping it is because i really need to be able to relate to someone about it
I bet you’re wondering why you received your Circle Back on a Monday. Not that I need an explanation, but since you’re being so pushy, I’ll tell you.
I WAS AT A WEDDING.
My cousin, Sima, got married this past weekend in Albany, Wisconsin to her high school sweetheart Dorian. I’ve known Dorian for almost 17 years, which means I was one year old when I met him. I remember the first time I saw him, too. It was right around the time The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was released, and I thought Dorian and his little beard on his chin made him look like Mr. Tumnus. I kept thinking, Sima is dating a faun … a half-man, half-goat. Dorian, if you’re reading this, I thought Mr. Tumnus was great, and so I was very excited for you to be Sima’s new boyf. Dorian doesn’t look like Mr. Tumnus, anymore.
Okay, now that I look at this again, Dorian never looked like Mr. Tumnus. What was I thinking? Why did I think that? Who looks like Mr. Tumnus? No one!
I stand corrected.
It was a beautiful wedding. The weather, minus what I thought was gonna be a tornado Friday night, was incredible. They coincidentally got married on the night of a meteor shower, which feels like DUH of course they did. The music was great, the guests were fashionistas, and the food was a chef’s kiss. I wore a dress that I didn’t know would show very visible sweat stains until I held little Zulal for about an hour until she fell asleep.
Luckily, the spot went away, and I looked like I had a normal, very cool, and not weird at all body temperature.
It’s so nice how the older you get, the more you go to family weddings of the people you grew up with, and you get to see your whole family in a different environment. They’re mixed in with other sides of the family, as well as friends they’ve never met. And all of the different sections of someone’s life blend together. Love that!
The wedding was at the Post Farm, which is where Postock, Sima’s DIY music festival takes place annually. Let me tell you something about this farm. It’s gorgeous, it’s huge, and it’s a very relaxing and mystical place. It also wants me dead. Every year, something ridiculous and dramatic happens to me there — or in that area. One year, I dropped a rock on my foot in the creek and it hurt so bad that I threw up and got so dehydrated that two of my darling aunts had to drive me 20 miles to the nearest hospital. Another year, I went to open a new bottle of hot sauce in the house’s newly renovated kitchen, and the entire bottle exploded into my eyes and mouth and also nose. I couldn’t see, but I could hear maybe 10 people trying to help make sure I didn’t go blind and later found out from my cousin Liam that the kitchen looked like a crime scene. What can I say? The room needed a paint job.
This year, I went to sleep at a bed and breakfast that my aunt and uncle were using for one of the nights and arrived at three in the morning only to be chased out by a bat in the house. This bat may have been blind, but it could see my fear. The bat started flying near the ceiling and followed me up the stairs. Once I ran into the bathroom, the bat started flying low to the ground — I imagine it was to make sure that I didn’t do any funny business, like trying to run for my life or something. I could hear its wings hitting the walls (BECAUSE IT CAN’T SEE), so once I couldn’t hear it any longer, I ran out of the bathroom and down the stairs. But it followed me and then furiously flew all over the living room and near the door where I was trying to escape. I pushed the door as hard as I could and turned the knob, but I was locked in. The bed and breakfast wanted me to suffer. After three minutes — which felt like 30 minutes — of trying to open the door, I thought to myself, Maybe it’s pull?
I ran the Fuck outta there, got back in the car, and slept on a couch at the farm. Whatever Albany, Wisconsin ghost is mad at me better just tell it to me straight because I am getting tired of walking on cheese curds* in the town.
*walking on cheese curds instead of walking on eggshells because it’s Wisconsin and that’s comedy
Other than that, I actually didn’t really get that many bug bites, which is a Huge Win in my book, and I also was not hungover. And the sweat stains on my dress went away. And I got to wear comfy shoes instead of heels. And I was not super sunburnt. And I saw four shooting stars. And I got to hang out with this lil lady for a lot of the weekend:
And take pics like these:
And I got to take a break from never sleeping when I’m in New York to not sleeping at all in Wisconsin. And somehow, in both places, I do not feel rested.
But it was such a sweet little big weekend, and it’s all I’m going to talk about for this week’s Circle Back. This summer has been full of large weekends that take up all of the space in my brain where I can’t even remember anything else that’s going on in my personal life or in the world. For the next month or two, big weekends will continue, and Circle Back will be a place of telling you about them. And sometimes, if I drink enough water that Sunday sometimes Monday, there will also be jokes and funny one-liners about pop culture and/or politics. Sometimes, those are the same subject.
Congratulations to Sima and Dorian, the Kanye and Kim of Chicago indie music. Wait, no, that’s not it. Congrats to Sima and Dorian, the Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks of Chicago indie music. No, that’s really not it. The Barack and Michelle of Chicago! No! Not it. I’ll figure out what you two are for the first wedding anniversary.
music rec: I Wish You Well by Bill Withers
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