Getting the text "sigh" is performative activism
When my mom texts "sigh," she is not proving her disappointment in me, which is only performative. Sigh if you agree.
Welcome back to Circle Back! Thanks for returning or joining or accidentally clicking on it or just trying to be nice. It’s all positive stats for me in the end.
New York is wild. I went to get my nails done this week, and there was a fly that kept moseying around the nail artist and me. The fly was making the artist go crazy, and she was definitely more focused on destroying this new antagonist in the nail lady’s and my story. Anyway, she was taking the hot towel that she used for my hands and kept whipping it in the air, trying to get this fly. Little did I know that the fly was on the top of my forehead, and little did the nail lady know that the nails she was working on were attached to me. Suddenly, she smacked me with the hot towel and then realized that I was a person. So what, Lorde’s getting Stoned at the Nail Salon? Try getting smacked. This may not be a New York thing (and no one needs to tell me it’s not), but it happened in New York, so it is now a New York thing. I hope everyone gets to have a memory like that one.
This week I’ve been learning a lot about performative activism. It’s also known as surface-level activism and is basically when someone wears something (as an example) or posts something that increases their social capital, rather than doing actual change. The Met Gala, one of the biggest and most ridiculous events of the year, had a lot of performative activism take place. Cara Delevingne wore a bib that said “peg the patriarchy,” which was designed by Dior.
But before Dior, a queer woman of color named Maria Grazia Chiuri created the phrase and registered it as a trademark in 2015. Two things I am thinking about: the first is that it’s one thing to not credit the woman who created the phrase — a very patriarchal thing to do, and the second is that this infatuation with penetration as a power move is super fuckin weird, and I don’t know why the media continues to romanticize it. I’m not going to explain what “pegging” is because my parents read this newsletter, and I won’t be able to speak to them for months if I’m the one who tells them what it means.
AOC wore a white dress by Aurora James that said “Tax the Rich” on it in red.
While there is a difference between rich celebrities and Jeff Bezos, the fact that AOC even attended the Met Gala made her dress performative. But you know what else is performative? Criticizing her for being performative. Everything we do is performative. What am I changing by criticizing the people who went to the Met Gala trying to make a statement? What are we if not performative? What am I if not performative? Performative performative performative performative performative performative performative. I’m bored of talking about this.
Other than that, everyone looked fun. Almost no one followed the theme yet again, but they’ve got a second chance in May because too many people failed, and the teacher (Anna Wintour) doesn’t wanna get fired. Just kidding: she’s union. This is a pro-union newsletter everyone.
Nicki Minaj tweeted the other day that her cousin’s friend’s sister-in-law’s uncle’s dogsitter’s godson’s step-brother twice removed got the Covid-19 vaccine, and his balls swelled to the size of the peach in James & the Giant Peach (apologies to my James & the Giant Peach fans) and can’t get married. The saddest part of this story is that he can now only wear Hammer pants.
Former Detroit p*lice chief James Craig announced on Tuesday that he’s running for Republican Governor of Michigan, according to The Detroit News. A crowd of protestors arrived at Belle Isle, the state park where Craig made his announcement, and he was apparently very upset about it. Literally couldn’t stop talking about it. Told Tucker Carlson about it. Still is not over it. Said it had the potential to get dangerous. The former Detroit p*lice chief was worried about the protestors getting violent. Hmm. Sorry, I’m having a tough time understanding. Did any of us ask?
On a more serious note, gymnasts testified at a hearing on the FBI’s handling of Larry Nassar’s case this week. Some of the gymnasts slash powerful and amazing women there were Simone Biles, Aly Raisman, McKayla Maroney, and Maggie Nichols, who all called out not only Nassar but also the entire system that “enabled and perpetrated his abuse.” To have the strength to stand up for yourself and all of the other people who suffered at the hands of an evil man is one thing, but to have to live with the negative impacts of the abuse is another. These women are the TIME100 Most Influential People in my book all year, every year.
Speaking of the TIME100 Most Influential People 2021, my name was nowhere to be found.
Something very important that I want to address this week is a new segment I’d like to call #SighTexts. This segment is about all of the absurd texts we’ve gotten from our parents at one point or all points. My example here would be every time my mom is disappointed in me (which is never ——— it’s all the time), she will literally text me the word “sigh.” Not only is it hurtful, but it is also straight to the point — and I respect that. It’s also something that younger* people would never say, which is why I’m creating this segment. If you have any amazing texts from your parents, please comment them at the bottom of this newsletter. If you choose not to, that’s okay; I have more than enough from my parents that I can continue to share.
Norm Macdonald died this week after struggling through nine years of cancer, which he never told anyone about — which is a very Norm Macdonald thing to do. He was ahead of his time on Saturday Night Live with his deadpan humor — something that I am working to achieve. But one of my favorite moments in his career is when he wrote for the show, Roseanne. I know there’s a lot of issues with Roseanne Barr, but the show was pure comedy, and my mom and I used to watch it all the time. One of my favorite scenes in sitcom television was something Norm wrote, and I’m gonna paste the video right below this. It makes me laugh every. single. time.
My first couple of weeks in Brooklyn have been really nice. I got on the wrong train three times the other day, which made it more difficult for me to respect myself. I misread the letter M as the letter N, and then I did it again, and then I did it one more time. I don’t even think they connected in whatever stations I was in. But hey, tomato, tomato.
*I just wanted to address this choice of word. My mom is a young woman, and I do not mean to call her old. She just texts like an old person. I love you mom please answer my FaceTime calls.
~ a few photos from the week starring the city and also my cousin Julian who has to do what I say ~
I love you, I want to kiss u!!! This is spectacular😍😍
<sigh> Can't comment on what I learned this time ...