from the river to the sea, donatella VERSACE <3
I hope everyone had a lovely Valentine’s Day week! Bella Hadid posted her annual Instagram post, which was very safe and not threatening and not at all a form of hate speech or propaganda or anything of the sort:
The first time she posted for Palestine, people commented in support, as well as against it. Donatella Versace, however, commented something that we believe was very much in support of her message:
Ever since then, people have commented this on all of Bella Hadid’s pro-Palestine posts, and I am quite confident in those comments being in solidarity with the message.
And while Bella and her sister have had to be as careful as they can while still fighting for their history, Amy Schumer has been booked on several talk shows this week! Amy Schumer, Israel’s number-one fan! Amy Schumer — who said that there shouldn’t be a ceasefire and that this isn’t a genocide! Amy Schumer — who posted a since-deleted comic for everyone to see:
Amy Schumer — who literally had to be called out by the daughter of Martin Luther King Jr. because of her propaganda ass:
And somehow, The Tonight Show and Good Morning America still let her on their programs to promote whatever dumb little show she has on Hulu.
So interesting — the choices everyone makes without consequences! You know what it is? I feel like people are not understanding that we can make choices with consequences that don’t actually risk the lives of innocent people. And I, Kerry Cunningham, and more than happy to take on the responsibility of giving these horrible people some ideas for choices that have less genocidal consequences:
CHOICE
ubering home, even though it’s only a 20-minute train ride.
CONSEQUENCE
you just lost $30.
PLUS-SIDE
no genocide was created in the making of this choice.
CHOICE
choosing the organic tequila shot, rather than a well tequila shot at the bar, even though you’ve already had several well tequila shots.
CONSEQUENCE
you are hungover the next day, and it is your fault.
PLUS-SIDE
no genocide was created in the making of this choice.
CHOICE
jumping the turnstile to get on the subway.
CONSEQUENCE
bruising your knee because you are not cool enough to jump a turnstile
PLUS-SIDE
no genocide was created in the making of this choice
you saved $2.90!!! (i am all for jumping the turnstile don’t take this as me being pro-paying for the train millions of people take the train every day and somehow the MTA is in debt so there’s no way the money is going toward them mhm i know that’s right)
CHOICE
eating a big bag of Takis instead of a bag of baby carrots.
CONSEQUENCE
getting an ulcer (but the Takis were so damn tasty)
PLUS-SIDE
NO GENOCIDE WAS CREATED IN THE MAKING OF THIS CHOICE JUST AN ULCER
CHOICE
posting on Instagram that Israel is committing genocide on Palestine with our tax money and that if you’re choosing to say anything but that to your millions of followers you’re adding to the propaganda that is already out there from the country that is killing children with no absolutely no guilt
CONSEQUENCE
people don’t hate you?
PLUS-SIDE
you are forever known as someone who is against genocide!!! wow congratulations that’s huge who knew it could be that easy
Look at how many choices you can make that don’t cause genocide! Man, maybe if Netanyahu knew it was that easy, he’d stop being such an evil villain and grow the fuck up. Hey, kiddo: if you wanted to act like an ulcer, you just had to eat a bag of Takis; you didn’t have to destroy an entire homeland!
And Joe Biden et cetera, if you truly see Israel as a strategic advantage for us in the Middle East and are willing to look the other way as they massacre tens of thousands of civilians with our tax dollars and our weapons, boy, do I have the spot for you: New York’s hottest club is RIKER’S ISLAND, and there are private rooms with your names on them! Maybe if you’re behavior is good enough, they’ll let you have those new Apple goggles so that you can still feel like you’re committing war crimes! And the plus side of that: NO GENOCIDE IS ACTUALLY BEING EXECUTED. So that’s just something for all of you to think about.
I am not pro-prisons, but y’all are reeeaaaallllyy good at making me feel like it’s necessary for veeerrrrryyy special occasions.
Liberal Zionism is wild because all of the people in that community are also people who want you to know that they voted for Obama twice. Right-wing Zionists want Gaza to be a luxury resort, while liberal Zionists want it to be a solar-powered luxury resort. Does this make sense? Do we see the line and how it’s barely there? Do we see how we actually can’t even see the line because it’s no longer there? Are we gonna act like Amy Schumer, one of Hillary Clinton’s biggest supporters, didn’t call Gazans rapists? And instead of also calling for a ceasefire for reasons I mentioned earlier (ya know, the whole “we’re gonna look the other way with Israel committing genocide because this’ll be really good for us in the long run” thing, Hillary posted this:
Someone call Saturday Night Live because we don’t need them anymore! The jokes have already been written! What a funny little big world!
I am sweating so much writing all of this. It’s time to go sit outside and enjoy the cold air before Taylor Swift flies back from Tokyo because she forgot to feed her cat and then the weather goes back up to 70 degrees. That girl has too much power; she’s literally changing the weather!
movie rec: In the Name of the Father (1993)
book rec: The Trinity of Fundamentals by Wisam Rafeedie
person to STOP WATCHING: Amy Schumer it really shouldn’t be very hard to do she’s not even funny everybody