bicoastal in brooklyn for the holidays YEAH YOU HEARD ME RIGHT
that's right you little punks i'm staying all over brooklyn for the rest of the year get over it this is just the life i live
I need to begin quickly with a MESSAGE TO ALL MAIL COMPANIES, PUBLIC AND PRIVATE.
I WAS HERE. I WAS IN MY APARTMENT. I WAS WAITING FOR YOU. YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOCK. YOU DIDN’T EVEN MAKE A NOISE. YOU DIDN’T EVEN SAY, “Hello, my sweet little Kerry girl it is us the UPS delivery service here to wish you good tidings and tell you that your haircut looks really nice and also we almost forgot! We have a package for you that you need to sign for smiley winky face! Please float down from your window and retrieve it from us so that we can go along with our day wishing others just like yourself a beautiful day and a wonderful haircut.” YOU DIDN’T SAY THAT. AND THIS IS THE SECOND STICKER IN TWO DAYS WHERE YOU HAVE TOLD ME THAT YOU’RE SORRY YOU MISSED ME. I WAS HERE BOTH DAYS. WHAT AM I DOING TO DESERVE THIS? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE THERE’S A UPS TO COME GET THE PACKAGE. I KNOW I CAN LOOK THAT UP. JUST PUT IN A LITTLE MORE EFFORT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF god.
Okay, now back to your free programming.
You’ve heard of bicoastal. You’ve heard of living on one coast of the country and then also living on the other coast of the country also as well. But have you heard of living bicoastal in Brooklyn? That’s right, folks; I’ll be temporarily living in my apartment in Bushwick (which is in north Brooklyn) and then also near Prospect Park (which is central Brooklyn). It’s like two different states!!!! South Brooklyn? No, I won’t be on that coast. I will be on the north coast and then the central coast. Quite the journey.
Staying in New York for Christmas this year means that I also get to catsit (which is why I’m gonna be bicoastal in north and central Brooklyn please keep up), so I’ll be celebrating the holiday with a little hypoallergenic kitty who likes to stare at me from the stares at all hours of the day. We’ve had conversations in the past about how that creeps me out because I feel like every time we lock eyes I see how I die, but it’s something we’re both working on. 2024 will be better.
Christmas in New York can really be something sometimes, and I’m not afraid to say that. The lights on the trees, which are the same lights that you may see on the trees in other states and cities, are just too good here. The storefronts with all of the Christmas decorations on Park Ave. feel extremely capitalist but have a little holiday spirit, and that’s kind of nice. The spooky Irish woman feeding the birds in Central Park who seems to live with the birds, as well — a great lady. Hearing seven different versions of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town while I walk two blocks is always a nice touch. And the trash on the streets tends to smell a little mintier than usual! This is not true I don’t know why I said that.
But I do like being here for the holidays. Spending it with friends (and a cat) feels very adult in a cool way and not at all in the opposite — an uncool way. Sometimes, it feels way busier here with the tourism during Christmas, but weirdly, at the same time, it feels a little quieter if you walk around the right places — like 5th Ave!
I won’t lie; I’ve been overthinking the idea of celebrating a holiday during a time of sadness and genocide. It’s one of the reasons why I didn’t want to go home. As I’m sure all of you do, as well, I think about Palestine every single day. People often say you can’t pause your life just because bad things happen in the world, but I don’t fully agree with that. I think there are parts of life you can learn to live without — even temporarily — when the world is not on the side of the people. I don’t need a big holiday this year; I don’t even need any gifts. I don’t need a plane ticket or a phone call wishing me a happy holiday or a celebration with a few friends or even a Christmas record playing all day, but I’m still going to do some of these things because we don’t understand that others aren’t able to even if we say it out loud. And I really don’t know how to respond to that — to myself.
Whole Foods sells a Palestinian olive oil that costs about $30, which is nothing in this context, so I went to the store the other day and bought it:
I thought, Yes! I’m doing something that feels right — something that is so small but still supporting the correct cause! After feeling like there was nothing I could do but spread awareness and go to protest, I finally found another thing to add to the list of how to support Palestine! So incredible, right! Wow! Ugh, great work, Kerry.
But then … I remembered that I bought it from Whole Foods. And then … I remembered that Jeff Bezos owns Whole Foods. So I wondered,
If I’m purchasing Palestinian olive oil from a company that makes an evil billionaire tons and tons of money, did my buying this just completely cancel everything out?
Also, shut up, Kerry! That’s not helping at all! Why don’t you go buy a dumb baguette and put some of that Nabali olive oil in a cutie little ceramic bowl with some garlic and thyme and red pepper flakes and maybe a little oregano and I don’t know probably some cracked black pepper and just EAT IT YOU IDIOT. Yeah! Enjoy it, punk! Enjoy your stupid little bread from the French bakery 10 minutes away, and while you’re at it, why don’t you write all of this in your silly little newsletter that people seem to enjoy even when you’re overthinking what you want to talk about and then you go on a goddamn RANT about buying OLIVE OIL from JEFF BEZOS? Yeah. Think about that next time. Why not, instead of talking about that, you let everyone know that you’re about to hit 1,100 days on Duo Lingo? I’m sure eVeRyOnE is gonna wanna hear about that. How good is your French, Kerry? Do you know how to say, “This actress is very awesome!” in French? Well, not every conversation is gonna need that piece of information from you, KERRY. Why don’t you go READ A BOOK.
Speaking of books, I’m reading a really great one right now. It’s called On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong. Ugh, every line makes my neck tingle. It’s so beautiful. And sad. And meaningful. And pretty. It’s about the power of telling your own story while being silenced at the same time. It’s just … gorgeous.
Gonna leave this one short this week, as we are all looking to have a nice Sunday evening full of liveter, laughter, and loveter.
movie rec: the movie I’m recommending this week is Barbie bUT LET ME EXPLAIN WHY. On Max (fka HBO Max fka HBO), there are two versions of this movie: the regular version and then the American Sign Language version. GO WATCH THE ASL VERSION. There’s an interpreter at the bottom of the screen the whole time, and you can watch her interpret just about every part of the movie. It’s really cool, actually. I’m literally only recommending this movie so that you can watch her.
cocktail name rec: a Paul Mezcal … do I really have to come up with everything?
clothing item rec: low-waisted pants DO NOT yell at me about this unfortunately this truly is the move … even for the grandparents.