argentina may have won the world cup, but i broke my wrist playing soccer one time and that really hurt
so think next time before you mention the world cup because it can be really traumatic for people who have played soccer before
WELL, WELL, WELL it looks like it’s officially Hell Week* for all of us! Just a few more days to buy your gifts irl or buy your gifts online with VESLSE (Very Express Shipping Like Super Express). Or if you’re like me, you didn’t get anyone anything! Kidding, everybody. I’m not that kind of girl. Who do you take me for? A Jehovah’s Witness? Christmas is a very important holiday in my life, okay? I am always out praising our Lorde (Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O'Connor), so I don’t know what it is that you’re assuming about me and my gift-giving, but it has to stop. But yeah, get that shopping done, and get those stockings stuffed or else someone’s gonna bring you some Coal (‘s Cash). This is the second time I’ve made this joke this holiday season, and it’s still just as good.
* this was a typo on the author’s part she meant to write the week of Christmas, not Hell Week
SOrry, one sec I’m watching the penalty shootout brb
During the penalty shootout, each team stands in a horizontal line and puts their arms around each other. Just a buncha dudes bein guys what can get betta than this?
Ok, I’m back! Crazy game, huh? At least, the 10 minutes I watched of it was.
Last night, we all as a collective community discovered that Cecily Strong’s final episode of Sunday Night Live whoops typo Saturday Night Live was last night which is how I started this sentence I said “last night” two times well now I’ve said it three times I can’t control myself. But alas, it has finally happened
this is leslie thank you kerry got distracted by caroling dogs again
^ this is so embarrassing now everyone knows that I’m writing this at work
BUT ALAS, IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED: the 2012 trio has officially come to a close. Kate, Aidy, and Cecily are outta there! Off to step outside of the Studio 8H bubble and back into the real world. I know I said I wouldn’t mention it anymore, but I literally cannot believe I went to one of her last shows. When I was there, I kept thinking about how former castmembers that I’ve looked up to for years — Wiig, Poehler, Bryant, Radner, et friggin cetera — were in this same room with people watching them the same way I was watching Cecily Strong and Sarah Sherman and Bowen Yang. And now other people, starting in the new year, people will be seeing that show and thinking the same thing about Cecily. Cecily — our Oak Park girly, the alum of my high school’s rival, a Second City native — has joined the ranks of the SNL greats and rightfully deserves to be called one, as well. Love that for her.
I’ve been trying to teach myself to be okay with being by myself sometimes. I’m always with people. I always feel like I’ll go crazy if I’m left alone unchaperoned. So one way to teach myself to be okay with it is by going to the movies by myself. I’ve been doing that a little bit lately. This past week, I went to see two movies IN the theatre: Tär (by myself) and Triangle of Sadness (with a friend).
Tär
Every time I see, like, the first three minutes of a Cate Blanchett character, I think “ok let’s just give her the award already jesus h christ” and I have never once been wrong about his thought.
When I got to the Angelika Film Center & Cafe, I asked for an oat latte, and the barista replied, “What is that? Like, an oatmeal latte?” to which I replied, “Hmmm actually I’d love an espresso.” I just didn’t wanna risk having an oatmeal latte for the second time that day. Didn’t wanna make that mistake again.
I think it’s fun to watch movies that are just meant to be nothing special in the sense of “art,” but I also love watching movies that are considered high art because it’s so cool to see how much effort and creativity into their work. They want to make their pictures look like paintings, and that’s super fun. This movie was very much that.
Cate Blanchett is probably used as the photo example for buccal fat removal even though she just looks like that.
5/5 stars from me, girly
Triangle of Sadness
If you’ve never seen The Square, you should go watch that first. But this movie was very smart and satirical and a LOLer (a laugh-out-louder).
When my friend Brenna and I were watching the previews, there was one preview that showed all of the main characters in the first 15 seconds and and then in the final 15 seconds of the trailer there was a VQS (very quick shot) of Stanley Tucci applauding something that happens in the film and then my friend Brenna said, “Stanley Tucci is always just a man clapping.” And I think that’s beautiful.
Any movie that throws a 10-minute cameo of Woody Harrelson is a movie I need to watch at least once. I don’t know how many of those types of movies there are, but I know that there is definitely one.
Also a long movie (there is no reason to say also since I didn’t say that Tär was a long movie, but I’m here to say that Tär was also a long movie), but well worth the watch. Quite a few movies out this year are making fun of the Upper Class, and I’m not mad about it. I’m not really mad about anything. Should I be mad about more things? We can talk about this another time.
4.5/5 stars from me I legally cannot give it 5 stars because there is a vomit scene that lasts probably 10 minutes and I cannot handle that
The Banshees of Inisherin (watched this at my friend’s apartment)
The first point I’d like to make is:
Piggybacking off of this point, I’d like to say that I think Colin Farrell’s eyebrows are to him what Remy is to the chef in Ratatouille. No further comments on this.
Something I learned in an Irish Film class one time when I was living in Ireland that one time is that every Irish film will have a priest character. They all have it. Name any of them. The Banshees of Inisherin? Yep, there’s one there. This movie’s religious metaphor was suuuuper duper smart, and I really loved it.
Very funny movie. 5/5 stars.
Wow, every movie in that round basically got 5/5 stars! Quite the week for them. With these reviews, they should each win Best Picture at the Oscars! And they all probably will! I think that’s how those award shows work.
A text exchange between my aunt and me from earlier this week:
Quite the tearjerker.
Okay, folks. I’m gonna cut this one off. It’s very busy at the B*ggu store right now, and being at work is very bad for my writing career. But alas, I must continue with the day. Have a wonderful final week before Christmas, everybody. I’ll be at my mom’s in Chicago if anyone’s trying to figure out where to send my gifts. I’m talking to you, Santa (Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O'Connor)!
movie recs: are you joking
book recs: are you joking did you see how many movies i saw this week
music recs: the Kelly Clarkson Christmas album whatever it’s called
Kohl’s Coal’s Cash recs: all of your enemies
The bit is way past over with these recordings