accidentally wore white after memorial day ... is that the saying?
if it's not, then i was asking for a friend
TRANSLATE: hi there it’s jennifer coolidge i’m just here to say that kerry couldn’t post her little article letter yesterday or sunday because well she can really do anything she wants. this past memorial day weekend was busy like the fourth of july so leave her alone and just read it today otherwise she’s taking the letter away dumbass!
Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Circle Back, your one-stop shop for all things nothing. It’s been quite the busy week since returning from Chicago, I’ll tell ya that much. It feels like I was in Chicago months ago — that’s how busy this week felt. Ever hear of Having To Work? Ever hear of Friends Coming To Visit? Ever hear of Dog-Sitting? Ever hear of Doing That All At The Same Time? Ever hear of Going to See Harry Potter And The Cursed Child On Broadway? That one’s a little more unique. WELL, all of these things happened at the same time, so, yeah … I was what you might call the busiest bee in the hive. But let’s move on. Here’s the dog I was dogsitting:
I know, right. Archie was the biggest celeb in New York City this weekend. People could not stop commenting on him everywhere we walked. And we WALKED — 68th St. to Wall St. For those who do not live here, that’s like five miles. And the number of people you see when you walk five miles in New York City? Thousands. And the number of people you see when you walk five miles in New York City on Memorial Day Weekend? Billions. Billions of people were talking about Archie and how good he was. Never met a gooder dog, and I’m not afraid to say it.
It’s fun to pretend you have a pet for a weekend. Your responsibilities shift, and you now have to edit your schedule to include keeping an animal alive in your day-to-day. And then in return, they sleep like this:
And you say, “Thank you so much for allowing me to give you the opportunity to take over the exact area that I would need to sleep comfortably.” It’s an honor and a privilege, truly.
Some may call me an animal whisperer; others may call me clumsy. But the real ones call me by my true identity — one that overpowers the other names. Who I truly am ……………………………………………………………… is Kerry Washington. That’s right, everybody! You thought it was Kerry Cunningham writing these newsletters? THINK AGAIN.
It’s me, Kerry Washington! This is a selfie I took just now to prove it, so if you Google “Kerry Washington selfie” and check the images you absolutely will not find this one there. Fewf! What a relief it is to finally admit who I am behind the words! It’s been difficult pretending to be Kerry Cunningham. She’s such a unique and confident and hilarious and gorgeous woman, and that’s a lot to have to impersonate, but I am an actor, and acting is in my blood. It was an incredible opportunity. Thank you to the Academy for the privilege of being Kerry. It will be empowering, as well as bittersweet, to leave her behind. Goodbye, Circle Back readers! Kerry Cunningham has returned to write for you.
I’ve given the Succession series finale 36 hours now, and I have to admit that it was one of the best shows I’ve seen. It’s up there with Mad Men, The Sopranos, Degrassi: The Next Generation THIS IS A JOKE, and Fleabag for me. And SPOILER ALERT: It’s so true that one Midwesterner can defeat any amount of people from the great state of New York City. And that’s all I’ll say about that.
My friend who hasn’t seen the show asked me yesterday to convince her in several words why she should watch it, and I said something along the lines of, “Ever hear of Shakespeare? Well, HE’S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW. But Logan Roy is, and Sir William is glad they never met.” I mean … it’s quite the summary. Succession was very much a King Lear-type story, but instead of being executive produced by William Shakespeare, it was executive produced by William Ferrell. Will Ferrell. That should be a convincer right there. Anyway, it was a really amazing show for the entire series, and I’m really looking forward to the idea of a Young Sheldon spin-off sitcom for Kendall Roy.
Well, Kerry Washington and I did not discuss what else she wanted to address in this week’s Circle Back, so I, unfortunately, have nothing left for any of you today. I promise, as Kerry Cunningham, that there will be more next week. I leave you with only this final thought:
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tv show rec: HBO’s version of King Lear
music rec: Tusk album by Fleetwood Mac
dog to dogsit: not telling you because then i won’t be able to dogsit him