i turned 25 this week, and you're watching disney channel
was that a clever newsletter title? shut up rhetorical question
Well, ladies and others:
It happened. I turned 25 yesterday at 6:59 pm central time. That’s right, folks. No more jokes on this here newsletter. I’m 25, which means I’m a businesswoman now. I can only be focusing on the stocks and making sure the stapler on the desk in my cubicle is never out of staples. Life is about the grind, everybody. The grind is literally never going to stop from here on out. I’m gonna be working hard and hardly working. I can never have fun ever again. Ok wait one sec I just heard the ice cream truck I'll be right back.
I’m 25 now! I’m just like you! It’s the first time my age actually sounds adult. It’s my mid-twenties. It’s my first wrinkle (because I’m always smiling) and my first gray hair (well not mine but I saw it in my apartment so it could be anyone’s). It’s a big birthday. Everyone always says that the next birthday they have is gonna start their best year. And while we all know that’s never the case, I actually think this is going to be my best year. Oh, you think I’m wrong? Tell that to my final bowl of a bowling game last night that had only two bowling pins left that were on opposite sides of the lane and BOTH were knocked down by yours truly because I hit one and that one flew over and hit the other (these are complicated bowling terms you wouldn’t get it). Tell it to that, you punks. Are you trying to tell me that something like that happening on the date of my 25th birthday doesn’t mean that it’s gonna be an incredible year? You can see yourself out.
This is probably the first time that I actually do feel the age I’m turning. At 25, I don’t live with my parents and am living in a different place than where I grew up. I’m paying bills and cooking for myself and making a living (barely). Every decision I make is my own. Every decision I make, every breath I take, every move I make, I’ll be watching you. Obviously, my ability to not focus has followed me to my 25th year. Anyway, I do feel 25. I know I look about 10 years younger, but I feel like I’ve had the experiences and have the responsibilities of someone who's 25. And it does feel good. I started my birthday off with a run, which felt very healthy and pretentious — two things we all want to feel. A handful of my friends came to New York from other places or came to Brooklyn from other parts of Brooklyn to spend my lil birthday weekend with me, and after two birthdays in quarantine periods of the pandemic, this one felt so surreal. To be able to go out with people to celebrate one thing (not my birthday I’m talking about my excellent bowl at the bowling alley) felt like quite an accomplishment. Thank you to everyone that celebrated it with me. And thank you for respecting my choice to wear a cowboy hat for half of the weekend.
I’m so happy I got to have my 25th in New York of all places. It seemed right to enter my mid-twenties in a place that was made for people like me to enter a quarter-life crisis. New York: the city of dreams turning into quarter-life crises. I believe Alicia Keys said it best: concrete jungle where quarter-life crises are made of, there’s nothing you can’t do. And that’s true. There is literally nothing you can’t do here. And sometimes, there is literally nothing you can do here, either. We love options.
This week’s newsletter is just about my birthday because I all know we were so excited to read about it. Adding some photos to the end of it, but I also want everyone to know that while I appreciate all of the birthday wishes and support, no one will wish me happy birthday as well as Cher:
Have a good rest of your weeks celebrating my 25th birthday! And me? Oh, I’m 25 now. It’s time for me to get down to business (take the train to Staples to buy some staples because I am a businesswoman).